In Limbo

Well, the good news is that, contrary to my previous post, Anthony's step mom was not taken off life support, they found the source of the infection and removed it. That is the good news. The bad news is that, after 3 days, she still is unable to breathe on her own and is still unable to control her limbs (although she does now have feeling in them and can move them somewhat). That is the bad news. The odds immediately after removing the source of the infection were 30%. I don't know what they are now. I haven't asked because, really, it doesn't help.

It's just hard, really. Because, on the one hand, I'm so excited that there's even a chance of recovery. But on the other, I'm afraid to hope because a 30% chance is not something I'd place money on. And I don't want to seem like I'm not grateful, because I am, and I truly believe this is God working. The roller coaster is just so hard to handle. Wow, something's wrong, this is a little scary turns into, crap, she might die, turns into, oh, she's doing much better now, she should be out of the hospital in no time, which turned into, um, she crashed really badly and we don't think she's going to survive, turns into, oh, wait, we found the source of infection, hooray, she could make a full recovery... see what I mean? It's exhausting just to type! So, I am fluctuating and trying not to drown in school work, trying to find time and energy to take care of us and help out with Anthony's family. I'm just tired right now. Hopeful and scared, but mostly just tired. It's an awful lot to handle.